The Vine

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

RITUAL OF HAND-PARTING, DIVORCE OR BREAK UP

This ritual is for the ideal circumstance where both parties are available and willing to consciously end their relationship.

I used the symbolism of bridge and creek. The location is ideally on a bridge over a creek, although it could be done at a fountain or into the Sea directly. It could also be mediated by a Priest or Priestess if appropriate. Each partner will go their separate ways, whichever direction is their direction home, immediately after the ritual without looking back.

Ritual items: two small stuffed animals, one representing each partner
bottle of the couple’s favorite wine (or grape, apple or other juice)
two sets of three small circles of paper with the words “I Forgive”, “I Apologize,” and “I Thank” written on them

Ideally this ritual is performed nearest the Dark Moon during the waning Moon as convenient. Do not break up during a Mercury retrograde or you might find the breakup is not permanent and you both end up in an on-again off-again boomerang.

Meet at the agreed upon time and have a very short discussion of anything that needs to be said before you part, for you will not be speaking with each other afterwards for quite some time if at all, in all likelihood. Make sure that you agree on how much time or under what circumstances that would be acceptable for either partner to re-initiate contact or re-initiate the relationship, if this has not already been made clear.

Stand in the middle of the bridge, over the water. Cast a circle and call directions for the best ritual. Call Aphrodite and Poseidon, or if preferred, any other chosen deities, one for each partner. If one or both parties are uncomfortable with this sort of ritual framework, simply proceed as follows.

Part I Accounting

Partner A begins, holding their circle of paper that says “I Forgive.” They say anything that they wish to forgive the other partner for, and then they drop the circle of paper into the creek below.
Partner B then holds their own circle of paper of Forgiveness, and forgives in the same way, tossing the circle of paper into the creek.
Partner B then takes their turn with their “I Apologize” circle of paper, and tells Partner A what they need to apologize for. The circle of paper is then dropped into the creek. Partner A then takes their turn with the Apology, dropping the circle of Apology into the creek when they are done.
Partner A now begins with the “I Thank” circle, and thanks Partner B for whatever they want to acknowledge in thanks.
Partner B then takes their turn with the Thanking, and then drops the Thanking circle of paper into the creek.

Part II Toasting and Sacrifice

Either partner opens the bottle of wine. They then toast each other for the good times, each taking a sip or gulp of the wine. Then they both hold the bottle of wine, and pour it into the creek. A good thing to say together here is: “Love released is not love lost. It returns to the Sea, It returns to the Sea, It returns to the Sea, It returns to the Sea…” until the bottle is empty.

Part III Releasing

Either partner picks up the stuffed animal that represents their soon-to-be-ex. They hand it to the other partner saying, “[Full birth given name of partner], I release you from the bonds of my love and my desire. The other partner likewise says “[Full birth given name of partner], I release you from the bonds of my love and my desire.”

At this point the ritual is complete. Dismiss deities, directions, and the circle according to tradition and then part ways, without looking back.

Aftercare

Many healing blessings and comforts to whoever has the courage to complete this ritual.

Take your stuffed animal, which is you, home with you, and treat it as you would be treated in a loving relationship. Comfort it when you are feeling down, encourage it when you are feeling good, ask it to take you to the park when you are feeling lethargic, etc. This might seem strange, but it is a very effective method of sympathetic magic, and it also can re-direct your caretaking tendencies back to yourself if you are more comfortable taking care of other people than yourself, or loving other people more than yourself.


C Princess Poysen Ivieee

4 Comments:

At 1:20 PM, Anonymous searchingwithin said...

What a wonderful ritual. Too bad we don't all leave a lover this way. It sure would eliminate a lot of strife, and resentment.

Love the part about the stuffed animal. We should all have one of these, for all those many times we forget to love and nurture ourselves.

~Best Wishes~

 
At 5:22 AM, Blogger fricardo said...

Thanks so much for this. I will try and convince my ex to do it with me. I love the Ï forgive, I apologise, I thank part - I want to honour the good stuff too!

 
At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can this be done via text?

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger Lynne Moore said...

What happens if it can't be done together?

 

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