The Vine

Monday, February 06, 2006

The Troll and the Bag

Once upon a time there was an ugly troll who lived under a bridge over a little creek. He lived quite well there in spite of the fact that he was in the middle of the city, eating mushrooms and tadpoles and occasionally frightening schoolchildren. Until one day, a plastic grocery bag from the supermarket down the street blew into his creek right in front of him. This made the troll so angry that he huffed and puffed and swore such that his indignant breath blew the bag up onto the sidewalk above the creek, and the troll chased after it. There he frightened a little girl who had been walking home from school, for not only was he very ugly, but now very angry as well.

“Is this your plastic bag?” he demanded of the little girl.

“No, no sir, it’s not mine,” she pleaded, and ran on down the sidewalk.

The troll was now even angrier, so his indignant huffing and cursing blew the bag all the way to the Governor’s mansion, where a garden party was in progress. The troll marched right up to the Governor and demanded, “Well, is it YOUR plastic bag, then?”

“Uh, no sir, it isn’t mine,” said the Governor, and signaled to the guards. But before they could approach, the troll’s angry sputtering blew the plastic bag up into the air, where it sailed even further, with the troll in hot pursuit.

Now the bag blew all the way to the White House, and settled down right in front of the President’s feet. “All right, it’s GOT to be YOUR bag now, Mr. President! What are you going to do about it?” hollered the troll.

“Look, Troll, I don’t know anything about this plastic bag, and you better get if off the White House lawn before Secret Police ticket you for demonstrating!” sneered the President.

This sent the troll into such a conniption of swearing, huffing, and indignant rage that the plastic grocery bag blew way, way up into the sky, out of the atmosphere even, where finally it came to rest covering the Moon. The troll followed it, and settled into it like a swing, with one leg through each hand-hold of the bag, and there he dangled from the moon, making faces and sticking his purple tongue out and making raspberry sounds at the inhabitants of Earth.

The people of Earth were now quite upset that the view of their beloved Moon was now obscured by a plastic bag, and they cajoled, demanded and pleaded with the troll to take it down.

“Well just tell me, whose plastic bag is this that littered my pretty little creek?” countered the troll.

“It’s not mine,” “It’s not mine,” “It’s not mine,” “It’s not mine,” “It’s not mine,” “It’s not mine,” came the replies from everyone on Earth.

And that is why there is still a plastic bag draped over the moon, with an ugly troll swinging from it.

copyright Princess Poysen Ivieee 2006


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