Blame the Camel Spiders

I exchange email with a cousin of mine who lives “on the Mainland” (from the Galveston perspective). We love each other deeply, tho I am an arch liberal/radical and he is evidently a total Gulf-Coast variety neoconservative. Earlier in April this year we had an exchange about the war. It started with the spiders. You know, that doctored photo that went around in forwarded emails showing the “camel spiders” that soldiers in Iraq were encountering. Our actual text is in italics. Nevermind, this blogspot doesn't do italics.

COUSIN
(photo of spiders attached)
Are these things for real?

IVIEEE (reconstructed approximately from memory)
Hmmm, they can jump 15 feet, and run (at 20mph) screaming at your shadow. Cuz’n, did you know they took the word “gullibility out of the dictionary? Here’s what they say about camel spiders: (.......) But don’t take my word for it, go to Snopes.

COUSIN
No, I didn't go to snopes. I'll take your word for it. It's the reason I asked you in the first place. Doesn't matter, i ain't goin over there anyways. Fuckin place is flat full of shit i'd rather see dead than alive.So I'm teachin ya manners? Alright! Nice to know I'm good for somethin,lol! Later.........

(Now what does he mean by “shit,” spiders, camels, ... People? I had to ask:)

IVIEEE (reconstructed exactly from memory)
Okay, so first we went there to find and destroy the weapons of mass destruction. Then we wer there to liberate the Iraqi people. But now we get down to the nitty gritty, we are there because we’d rather see them dead than alive? Just trying to keep up, here...

COUSIN
We? What's this "we" shit? Did I ask you to be like me? Think for yourself, kiddo! I don't need support for my opinion. Last I heard 70% of the little bastards thought there was nothing wrong with killing Americans. But, the funny thing is, I've heard from friends,(and relatives) coming back from there that a lot of them really appreciate what we've done for them and are really glad we came. No, not relatives of yours, these are my extended family. So, actually, turnin the place to glass with a nice nuclear device really is not an option. But as far as your little terroristic friends go, hmm, gee, I wish that had the guts to be as vocal as you.It would make things easier to distinguish those who should stay above ground and those who should be below.And don't give me that load about how they're fighting to preserve their religion and way of life.Their cause stinks worse than that fertilizer you use on your ganja plants. Asimilate them to youth here and you have a bunch of spoiled brats with more testosterone than brains too lazy to pick up a shovel and improve themselves and their way of life. No glory in that! Much better to blow up planes full of mothers, children and people who really do make a difference in the name of "Allah" . Basically no different than the crackheads we have around here.

(End of exchange.)

Wow, I was going to reply to this, made a couple of starts: "turnin the place to glass with a nice nuclear device is not an option? Because that would really make it hard to get the oil out!" I guess the raw hate and invective just pushed me so far back that I could not. I was stunned into silence, and I have not emailed him since. But I think we should remember that this is the family environment most of us exist in. I have surrounded myself with tolerant, liberal, multicultural people, but undiluted American hate is no further away than the next Thanksgiving gathering, for most of us. They are sticking with George Bush and Cheney, and they think it is America’s prerogative to stomp and kill other nations. In past discussions I have had to remind him that I was a family member who would be run out of the country if his proposed "love it or leave it political pogroms were actually carried out. But if you think my redneck neocon family is scary, just wait til you figure out how many fundamentalist christians really believe that George Bush was elected to bring on Armageddon so that they can get on with the Rapture.